Moving On

I (Julie) have been a terrible blogger as of late. It's because just about anything I've been thinking or doing lately (except perhaps my Christmas baking) has to do with this big elephant in the living room of a situation that I haven't had the emotional energy to tackle writing about until now. Without beating around the bush, we had to close Kal's. The day before Thanksgiving was our last day of business. I don't want to go into all the details now, but I'll sum it up quickly. The economy these past couple years had taken a toll on our business - duh, just like the construction business everywhere. However, we had been slowing making back the ground we lost, and we hadn't missed a payment to the bank. But the bank decided we were no longer a viable business for them to keep. With the way we stood then, no other bank wanted to take us on. So, that was that. Those past couple weeks were a whirlwind of emotions. In a way, it was a relief because often over the years when business hasn't been good, we've prayed about staying open or not, and to know for sure what we had to do was a nice change. And our regular contractors were amazing. When we told them one by one, almost all of them began praying for us, and we felt it. We were able to pay off all our suppliers, an important thing because we have always had good relationships with them and we did not want to leave them hanging. Those were the positive things. On the other side, we have all been dealing with a fair amount of grief and uncertainty. Walking around the store those last few weeks was like waiting for a dear friend to die. Part of you wants it to just be over, and the other part wants to hang on to every last second. Because we couldn't tell our customers until about a week and a half before we closed, since we needed to keep the business going, everything happened rather suddenly at the end. Honestly, I don't think it's sunk in yet. Sometimes I still find myself thinking about what to bring for Dad's lunch tomorrow, or I'll almost answer the phone, "Good morning, Kal's," or trying to think of the sku for something that doesn't have one (like lotion at Target) to find out the price. There are so many dear little memories that come to mind everyday, some that make me laugh, some that make me cry. One of the hardest things for me is not seeing these people that have become such a part of my life, and that I have learned so much from. As our contractors came in those last few days, getting a few little things from what we had left, many of them would give me a special goodbye, saying how they have enjoyed getting to know me and things like that. I could barely choke out an answer. Of course I'll still probably see them around, but when I used to see them probably 3 or 4 days a week, it just won't be the same. Enough with all my melancholy reflections. To the title of my post. We are moving on. We have felt God's hand so strongly in these times, and He will continue to lead us on. Dad has been plowing snow and will start a salesman job at another lumberyard soon after the first of the year. It will be much like what he did at Kal's, only without the headaches of being a manager. For me, this change has brought a lot of questions of what to do next. I decided before we closed that I would not seek another job before going to Poland in February. I didn't want to have to tell a possible employer that I would need three weeks off so soon after starting (and, oh yeah, one week in January because I'm going to Arizona). And I didn't want to rush into anything. I had pictured myself staying at Kal's until I got married, or even until I had children. I realize that this is God's way of saying that He has something different in store for us now, and I'm waiting for Him to reveal what He would have me do now. I have started volunteering five hours a day, four days a week at the elementary school I attended. I work mostly with kindergartners and 1st graders, and I love it. I'm continuing to work at the Events Center, which I also thoroughly enjoy. I still have much to do in preparation for Poland, and I know that February 4th will come very quickly. There, I tackled the elephant. Not a very uplifting post, but we see brighter days ahead, and we'll keep you posted on what God is doing!